I spent most of today debating on whether or not I wanted to write this blog. I decided that I really needed to. So, here it goes.

I woke up this morning with a heavy and broken heart. Last night at the prayer room there was some discussion, even argument, about various things. I am not going to get into that here because I don't need to dwell on the past or talk about others or what was said, but it did create some really difficult feelings in me. Now, I think it's time for me to, not necessarily vent, but to share what I believe God was trying to teach me from last night's experience.

My heart is heavy and broken because what happened last night was a prime example of the brokenness of the body, the lack of unity among us, and our inability to die to ourselves and let God live through us. We argue about stupid things, about the furniture in a room, about who has control over what, we become legalistic and proud. As Christians we have a tendency to think that we are above God, that we know more than our Creator, and that we can make decisions about who He is and what He wants. We are wrong! I include myself in this completely, and that is what breaks my heart. Not only do I observe these things, but I do the same things. As it was last night, not only was their argument, but I actually took offense to a personal attack and retaliated, and that is what is so sad. I strive to practice peace and even nonviolence in my life, but I fail at it. Dang, that's pretty heartbreaking.

I was also saddened with the fact that we as Christians won't stand up for the oppressed and those that don't have a voice. This is revealed on the issue of abortion. I know that it is such a controversial and touchy subject, but it is something I feel so strongly about. It's an issue that we as Christians don't agree on, and those of us that do agree that we are pro-life tend to be so scared and afraid to offend others by displaying our beliefs. We must be bold and stand up for those who are oppressed, that are poor, that are hungry, and for those that will never have the opportunity to stand up for themselves. We have to pray without ceasing for the lives lost to abortion, the mothers that have abortions, the doctors that perform the abortion, and for our government to stop allowing murder.

Finally, the idea of dying to ourselves daily and taking up our cross to follow Christ is something that gets me going. We are called to dye to ourself and serve God. We are supposed to give up our life for Christ and do things for others. It is not at all about us, it never has been and never will be. God is all that matters and we must realize that. We are to forget about ourself and trust in the Lord. We must live our life as an example to others so they can come to know our savior through our actions and lifestyle.

So, while these topics really aren't new or revolutionary; they are things that I have not necessarily just come to a realization about, but are actually things that I have had a passion ignited in me about. These are topics that I feel very strongly about now and I am not going to back down on. And, you know what, I am really not on this earth to please people. What a strong statement, but I mean that I believe I am to follow a higher calling and that I must be bold and not back down on my convictions. It's definitely hard, but it's something I know I must do.

I just really pray for continued strength in my life and the lives of my brothers and sisters in Christ. That we will be open and honest with one another. That we strive to be more like Christ and work to unify the body. I pray for our University. For revival on our campus and for non-believers to know us for our love and because all that they can see in us is Christ. I pray for those that are struggling, that they realize the power they have over strongholds and temptation. I also pray that we remember their is always opportunity to learn in the face of struggle. I ask that God gently convict us in those areas of our lives where we may be wrong about Him or about others. I pray for peace. Not necessarily "world peace," (although I pray for that as well) but a peace within all of us, that peace that truly passes all understanding. I pray that we be filled with the peace and love of God our Savior. That we feel His presences and listen to His voice. I ask for passion and boldness, that the Lord makes us passionate about things and that we can boldly proclaim the Gospel.

Amen