Well...this time last year I was finishing up my summer job and preparing to move to the little town of Boiling Springs to begin my journey through higher education and my own life as an adult. I was ready to get out of the little town I grew up in, I hated God, I longed for an escape from the crappy life I was living, and wanted so much more out of life. Wow, what a difference a year can make! I mean, I am still glad to be out of Brevard (although the town is quant and beautiful, I just feel that it isn't the place for me right now), I am still trying to escape the life full of lies and sin I lived over a year ago when I was finishing up high school, and I still want so much more out of life! I want to impact and change my world for the better...I want to help others.

But, the biggest change that has occurred in my life is the whole God thing. And it's not that I've found religion or learned more about Christianity, I've actually found a God that loves me even though I screw up every minute of every day. I've found at community of people here at GWU that love the Lord and that love me even though I can be mean, rude, and hypocritical. I know that my parents love me no matter what because they are people who love God and want me to love Him too. I have come to realize that I can accomplish so much more with God on my side. I know that my relationship with Him is the only thing that can fulfill me and that without that relationship I am nothing. And, something else I've learned, well not really learned but remembered, is that I am a hippie...HA! What I mean is that during my high school days I was such a little activist and wanted to see this world change; I was a proponent for tolerance and accepting others, I wanted to see peace all across the globe, all these things. Last fall when God came back into my life (well, more of me acknowledging that He was always there and that I needed Him), I think that that part of me died. I struggled for months with the idea of being an "activist" per se and a Christian. I don't know why it was so difficult for me to deal with this issue...but it was. I thought that I couldn't love God and fight for ending of poverty or stopping world hunger; but, I've learned that I can. Sarajane helped me realize it last night when we were talking about some of my high school activist activities and she said "Tyler, you were a little activist weren't you..." And the first thought that popped into my mind was "BUT WAIT, I STILL AM!" YAY! I still am...but now I feel like I have so much more power to actually affect change because I have God on my side. But there is more to it than that. Not only is it that I have the One and Only Most High Lord behind me, it's the fact that I'm not doing these things for myself. I don't want to protest abortion or help the homeless for me, for Tyler McCall...I want to, and more so HAVE to, do these things for God! Ha...what a realization. It's not because of me, what I am capable of, what I believe is right or wrong. It's what I'm called to do and what I have to do!

So...in a year my life has turned around. A 180 degree turn. Well, most of the time, sometimes I revert to the 90 degree or 45 degree or...even...1 degree mark, but my life has changed.

Now, I guess the question is "What does one do with a new year?" (Remember, I'm talking school years here...being a student you're forced to operate on two separate calendars...heck, being on a college campus you're forced to operate in another universe pretty much). And what's my answer to that question? Well, the one word I can think of, or maybe it was given to me, is "MORE." I have to love God and love others MORE. I must strive to live a life that is MORE pure and holy than before. I have to work harder and MORE often to impact those around me. I need to realize that God wants MORE (well, pretty much everything I have) from me than ever before. I am compelled to be MORE of a role model for those around me (especially my younger brother back home and the new guys moving on the hall). According to Dictionary.com, "more" can mean "in greater quantity, amount, measure, degree, or number," as well as "something of greater importance," and "in or to a greater extent or degree." How appropriate...I have to do all these things in a greater quantity and to a greater extent or degree. And, these things are of greater importance! WOW!

So...this year, I must give, do, help, appreciate, work, lead, and simply, live MORE!

Labels: Gardner-Webb, God, more, new year